Fertility and Mental Health

We all have a reproductive story.

Whether we want to or plan to parent or not, most people have considered the topic of parenting at some point in their lives. The reproductive story often starts as early as young childhood, mimicking parental behaviour through games and imaginative play. If you ever played house, tucked a stuffed animal into bed at night, or mimicked dad going off to work, these are all early traces of your own reproductive story. For many, by the time they start trying to conceive, they have fully formed versions of how the story will play out, complete with timelines, family size, and dreams of imagined children, family outings and holiday time together. When the story doesn’t go as planned, it can be devastating.

For individuals or couples trying to conceive, the endless tracking of menstrual cycles, timed sex, escalating fertility treatments, and the agonizing wait each month, the impact on mental health and quality of life can be huge. Canadian statistics indicate that as many as 1 in 6 Canadians is affected by fertility challenges (Fertility Matters Canada, 2025). Yet so many people suffer in silence, feeling alone and isolated. Struggling with fertility can have far reaching impacts, leading to increased rates of anxiety and depression. When combined with a history of pregnancy loss, the risk to mental health is increased even further. Individuals and couples can experience guilt, self-blame, lowered self-esteem, and general loss of sense of control over their lives and bodies. Societal pressures around parenting and watching others build their families can lead to frustration, anger and an attempt to avoid social situations, worsening the isolation. For individuals going through reproductive treatment, there are often added financial pressures, as well as physical and emotional repercussions from hormonal treatments.

If you are on a difficult fertility journey, please know you are not alone. In April, we honour Fertility Awareness Week in Canada to break some of the stigma and shame around this topic. You do not need to suffer in silence. Understanding the link between fertility and mental health can provide the perspective to help you navigate this journey with increased resilience and support. Here are some practical tips to help you through:

1) Practice self-compassion: Try to let go of self-blame, speaking kindly to yourself, as you would speak to a friend going through similar challenges. Indulge in small acts of self care, such as rest, walks, long baths, massage and any other calming activities in your toolbox. Use gentle reframes and affirmations, like “I am strong and capable of facing challenges on my journey”. And “I am worthy of love and care in the face of uncertainty”.

2) Ground in the present moment: Having a regular grounding practice, such as yoga, meditation, breathwork, gentle movement or singing, can help build resilience and coping strategies. When practiced regularly, it will be easier to access these strategies for emotional regulation in difficult moments, setbacks or during waiting periods when anxiety can be particularly high.

3) Stay connected and boundaried: Consider letting your closest friends or family in so they can support you and to reduce feelings of isolation. Let them know what you need, what is and what isn’t helpful. Make boundaries when needed to protect your emotional well-being, such as removing yourself from difficult conversations or being clear about when you need space. Consider what boundaries you want to make around difficult events, such as baby showers or visiting family members with new babies. You can make guidelines for how long you will stay, ask for support from loved ones to get through those events, or simply say no to things when it’s feeling too hard.

4) Prioritize your primary relationship: You and your partner may have different ways of coping and even grieving through this time. There isn’t a right or wrong way. Try to support each other with the feelings you each have, and to make time to connect with each other in low stress ways outside of your fertility journey. This can mean watching movies or shows that make you laugh, going for walks, playing board games, and otherwise reconnecting to the activities and pass-times you enjoyed prior to trying to conceive.

5) Reach out for support: If you are having difficulty coping, reach out for additional support. This can include joining online forums, a local support group, or speaking to professionals like your doctor, a fertility specialist, or therapist for personal and/or couple support. Your feelings are important – all of them. Being able to talk about them can be a big source of relief.

Feel free to reach out to us at Elite Counselling & Consulting Services for a free consultation (www.elitec-c.com).

For additional resources and therapist directory, consult Postpartum Support International (Canadian Directory: https://www.postpartum.net/canada/).